The Conversation I Dreaded for Eight Years

I had rehearsed it so many times in my mind.  I didn't know when to say it... I didn't know how to say it... but I knew I had to tell her.

Seven days ago, I did it.  I had prayed for just the right time. 

As we were addressing her birthday invitations, I gently told my adopted Haitian daughter, Grace, that her favorite day of the year, her birthday- Dec. 23, was only an estimate of her real birthdate.  Due to her abandonment in Haiti, no one really knew her real birthday.  I explained that the Haitian government and the orphanage director had examined her and given their best "guesstimate" of her date of birth.

We sat on her bed and talked for a long, long time about how God had planned for her to be a part of our family before the foundation of the earth.  We talked about her abandonment and how much her birthmother loved her.  We talked about Dixie, Molly, and LaDawn and others at God's Littlest Angels who took care of her, nursed her back to health and helped her Dad and I to find her.  We even talked about God's plan for her life and how much He loves her.  I made sure I emphasized that although we may not know her real date of birth, we know her date of REbirth and NO ONE can ever take that away from her.  We both smiled when I reminded her that she accepted Christ when she was six years old on February 12.  

Grace had heard me tell all of these stories before. I've always been completely truthful with my adopted children about their past.  But, I had waited to tell Grace about her real birthdate.  Not because I didn't want her to know.  But because it's so much for a child to take in that they were abandoned.  To find out that the date you've always celebrated as your birthday is not really your date of birth at all... that's alot to swallow for a child.

But it was time.  Grace is old enough and mature enough to understand now.  But I still dreaded the conversation. 

After a sweet time of talking, Grace smiled a whimsical smile and said, "It's ok.  I like having my birthday near Jesus' birthday.  It's special.  One day when I get to Heaven, I'm going to ask God my real birthdate.  He knows exactly when I was born.  He was there!"

Even though the conversation went very well, and Grace seemed to take the load of information with a smile, I know it may take a while for her to digest and internalize it all.

I've always prayed that my adopted children would never wonder who they are, and that they would always find their identity in Christ.  Always.

On December 23 we will have cake, ice cream, gifts, and a special dinner as always.  Real birthday or not, Grace's life is worth celebrating! 

And CELEBRATE we will!!!! 

Comments

[Terri Washer]

The last time I saw Grace, you were carrying her into Warren. How wonderful to see the lovely young lady that she has become! I'm sure that God is smiling down on both of you ... He has certainly blessed you both!

[Mimi Frazier]

You can also tell her that we really don't know when Jesus' real birthday is either so it is even more appropriate for them both to be celebrated so close together.