Going Home

Last Sunday, my kids and I attended our former church in Augusta, GA. We took a trip there because soon Augusta, GA will once again be "home."

For those of you who don't know, my husband took a new job in Augusta back in October, and as soon as our home sells, we will be moving there again. My kids are thrilled. They are so excited to go back "home." Even though we have lived here in NC nearly five years, (I can hardly believe it's been that long), they still have lots of friends in Augusta where we lived for 14 years. My oldest son, Ian, is even excited to attend a GA University this fall. My husband loves his new job and I couldn't be happier to see my family so excited about what the future holds in GA.

But somehow I have felt so confused at the prospect of moving back "home." And I'm not sure why.

On one hand, I am overjoyed to be moving to a place where the cost of living is *much* lower, where I already have established friendships, where I already know my way around, and where most of my family lives. It will be so nice to jump right back into a community where I don't have to look for a new dentist, a new doctor, a new church, a new gym, a new hair dresser, or a new favorite place to shop. That will take so much stress out of this move for me and my family!

But on the other hand I find myself standing before God and asking "why?" My questions are constantly before the Lord- Why would you move me right back to where I came from? I thought my time/ministry in GA was finished when you brought me to NC. Although there are so many great reasons for me to be excited, Lord, I'm baffled. Of all the places on earth that You could have sent my family with a new job, You're choosing to send us "home." Right back to the place we came from.

But, when my family visited our former church this past Sunday, I truly began to feel like I had come home again. I watched my children laugh and talk with their old friends... I watched my husband being trained to be the producer of the morning worship services, and I hugged friends that I have deeply missed while in NC. The Bible Study class I visited made me feel right at home. In many ways, it felt as though we never left.

I know that part of my "being baffled" at going back home is because I prayed for a certain city when I knew my husband had a job opportunity in that city... and it wasn't Augusta. That city? Charlotte, NC. Augusta, GA wasn't even on my radar screen!

I'm not sure why my heart has been so bent toward Charlotte, but the moment I found out that one of my husband's potential job possibilities was in Charlotte, I began to pray that the Lord would indeed lead us there. I have some friends there and Duane and I lived there for a short time after we got married. There is a ministry in Charlotte that I would have loved to volunteer with as well as several churches that are multi-cultural which I thought would be such an ideal place for my transracial family to serve and worship. I wanted so badly for Charlotte to be the place that God sent us-- I even prayed and fasted multiple times for the job offer in Charlotte.

But ultimately, God said "no" to Charlotte. In fact, that "no" was very clear. Duane was one of four candidates for a job as a franchise owner in Charlotte. He interviewed to start a franchise/business and two of the positions were right in the middle of Charlotte. There were only three franchises, and four candidates. When it was all said and done, Duane was the only one who didn't get chosen after TWO years of interviews for this franchise.

That's when Duane was offered the new job in Augusta, and one week later, Duane started his new job. And he LOVES it!

Clearly, God could have moved us to Charlotte- the place I prayed for, fasted for, and SO wanted for my family. But God said "no." And if you have been a Christ follower for any length of time you know as well as I do that when God says "no" it's for our good and He always has a better plan in mind. I have to trust Him in that.

So here I am... getting ready to move back "home." I don't know why... but it doesn't matter. I'll follow the Lord where ever He leads and I'll give 100% to the life He has for my family there.

So now you know why I haven't been writing on this blog very much since October when Duane took this new job. I honestly have been battling inside as to what God is doing in my life through this and I haven't felt much like writing about it. Not that I'm walking around like Eeyore with my head hung low or anything like that, but inside during my quiet moments with the Lord I've really been questioning and searching.

But last week all that began to change when we went "home" to GA to visit.

When I saw how our family just slid right back into our former church as though we'd never left five years ago, something changed in my spirit.

Whatever the Lord has for me in GA, it's good. Romans 8:28 promises that and I'm standing firm on it. The Lord still hasn't shown me what he's up to with moving us back "home" but He obviously has ministry and friendships and experiences and learning and GOOD stored up for us there!

Pray with me that this house will soon sell so my family can all be together in GA.

So it's with a full, excited, and very thankful heart that I look forward to going "home" to GA very soon. And it's with a full, excited, and very thankful heart that I look forward to the *good* God has for my family there.

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." Romans 8:28.

Comments

[Joyce Wilson]

Thanks for sharing this struggle. I have been there several times and understand that challenge. It will be exciting to see what the Lord has in store for you back "home". I have always been amazed at His plan which was so much bigger than anything I had envisioned.